HOW TO GET YOUR WAY AND COME OUT UNSCATHED

To get your way in anything, you have to know and understand the players.  That’s why it’s so important to know other people’s personality styles.  This helps you prepare your dialogue, data and examples so it meets their needs, not yours.  Needs always comes first—wants later.

Look at the past performance or track record of each.person and decide the best way to approach them and exactly what kind of payoff they may be looking for.  One may want recognition, another a sense of belonging and still another to improve her position.

When meeting with people you want to “sell” on some idea, do a little “test-marketing.”  Practice your pitch before you actually make it.  I have found in my own dealings, both professional and civic, that when I have done my homework and am prepared, I usually come out on top.

If I have a difficult person facing me, I run into far less resistance if I give them an opportunity to vent their emotions and opinions.  If I don’t react to any opposition directed my way, and instead try to understand why someone feels as strongly as they do, and I also give them a chance to verbalize and be heard, their antagonism very often goes away.

A strong person doesn’t mind admitting a mistake and hopefully learns from it.  The key to coming out unscathed is not to show hostility during the dealings and not to hold your adversaries’ opinions against them later on.  Each person is entitled to state what they think is best without fear of being punished for it later. 

Assertive S.O.B.’s know how to use free information.  That is, any material, facts, situations or philosophies that can be discerned about a person or company you have dealings with.  And the more free information you have, the more control you develop.

The more control you have, the more assertive you can be.  The more assertive you are, the better the result because you usually end up in a win-win, the best for everyone.  Sometimes when a person isn’t thoroughly convinced, they will buy into something simply because the majority feels it’s best and the person decides to fly with it.

This person is a strong and valuable player.  You can depend on them to voice their opinion, but also be part of the team.  Those are the people you want to cultivate.